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The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies

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I can handle the first two movies.  The first one's a romp that takes way too long, but has several good moments, and mostly captures the tone of the book, even if it doesn't get quite all the charm.  The second one is also decent, and includes the amazing golden dragon scene.  But at this point, the reservoir of good will that Jackson built up after the Lord of the Rings trilogy is completely spent, and this movie is the laziest and worst of the three.  

Smaug, the villain of the franchise, kicks the bucket in the first 10 minutes of the movie, but there still needs to an epic film, so we get the Battle of the Five Armies for three hours.  That sounds like it's a good thing.  The battles of Helm's Deep and Gondor were some of the best parts of the original trilogy.  The five armies that give the battle its title are mostly irrelevant, though.  There's a bunch of dwarves we've never met before, some elves who we never liked much anyway, one army of men who just got their city burned but manage to field an army anyway, and two separate armies of bad guys that somehow have managed to transmute themselves from small raiding parties to massive forces.  And the actual battle is very, very dull.  Sloppy maneuver and countermaneuver makes for dull movies, so we get to watch a bunch of one-on-one combat instead.  Some characters kick the bucket who we barely care about, and finally, after an interminably long time, the movie ends.

If I ever watch this trilogy again, I'm going to be sorely tempted to just watch until Smaug is vanquished and turn it off then, because this movie is ridiculously stupid and pointless.

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