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Orange Juice

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In the off-the-wall part of the blog, I bring you a rant about no pulp orange juice.

Man, I hate no-pulp orange juice.  It's a crime against the orange.  The pulp is what makes you know you're drinking orange juice.  Here's the decision making process for knowing whether you're drinking OJ.
Q. Does what you're drinking have floating bits in it?
Yes: You're drinking orange juice.
No: You're not drinking orange juice.

I would render that in flowchart format except that I couldn't find an easy way to do it in five minutes.

Anyway, that simple process is too easy for some people, so they filter the shit out of that orange juice.  Suddenly, there's no floating bits.  No substance.  No aha moment.  No, these assclowns, in their infinite wisdom, have decided that orange juice is great, but you know what's better?  That travesty for fucking humanity, Sunny Delight.  Delite?  Fuck, I'm not going to check that shit, this is a rant post.  Fact checking is for arguments about less important things.  I have a fruit product to opine about.

When I want orange juice, I want a sweet, sticky residue.  I want visceral.  I don't want namby-pamby shit that's reminiscent of orange juice like those overpriced fruit juice blends that say stuff like 'Nutrismoothie with acai berry.'  Orange juice is an experience, and if you don't get that, partner, you're missing out.

 

Orange picture courtesy Andrew_B on Flickr.