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Prometheus: Bringer of Stupidity

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Prometheus will probably not get the "Worst Movie I Saw This Year" award come December, but it's managed to claim it for now.  This is more of an indication that I haven't watched many movies yet this year, and less of the glowering indictment it sounds like, but it's still pretty awful.

Prometheus not only manages to fail to be a good movie, it also mostly fails to even exist in the same series as its predecessors.  Other than the over-the-top gladhanding references and extremely tenuous thematic ties, there's little connection.  Those movies are laconic, quiet, even thoughtful.  Prometheus is bombastic, action-packed, positively overflowing with crap.  Alien is great for its sparseness, its quiet, and its mystery.  Prometheus shows us the wizard behind the curtain, and suffers for it.  It's clear that there was a kitchen-sink approach here, and there was nothing that got left out.

The script is unadulteratedly awful.  The acting and directing here (with the exception of Michael Fassbender's android character) is not good, but nothing could save this script.  The characters are both flat and inconsistent, and the plot can't make up its mind what we should be scared of.  Is it the microbes in the ooze?  The reptiles that swim in it?  The engineers?  The aliens?  The malice of the company?  The answer the movie provides is 'all of the above,' which dilites the effect.

Avoid.  Definitely avoid.

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